Reet's "Wake-Up-You-Lazy-Bastard" Breakfast Casserole

This casserole is sure to get that lazy, no-good bastard in your life out of bed and bounding down the stairs to start the brand-new day. Maybe he will do something with his life once he's got a full tummy (probably not). 

These are the ingredients you will need, so make that lazy bastard go out and get them: 

• 8 frozen hash-brown patties (possibilities include Pattie LaBelle, sans BluBelles; Pattie Hearst, sans Symbionese Liberation Army; Pattie Duke; Peppermint Pattie).  You get the picture.
• 4 cups shredded cheddar cheese
• 1 lb bacon- cooked, drained, crumbled (in other words, completely demoralized!)
• 7 eggs
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon mr. mustard powder (find him in the bedroom with the candlestick)

Got 'em?  Okay, let's do this:

• Place patties (all 8 of them, kicking and screaming) in a single layer in a greased 13 by 9 baking pan; sprinkle with cheese and bacon.

• In a separate bowl, beat eggs, milk, salt and mustard powder mercilessly (let all that pent-up anger out!); pour over casserole. 

• Cover, then bake in oven at 350 degrees for one hour (careful, if you bake at 360 degrees, you are right back where you started).

• Uncover (no, not you, you idiot, the casserole!), then bake 15 minutes longer until edges are golden and a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean (it's, like, magic!!!)

Suggested music: "Morning Has Broken" by the sweet-voiced terrorist Yusuf Islam from his album Teaser and the Firecat. Be careful, though, George W. may send you on a vacation to Cuba for listening.